Too Hip

Right now I'm in my third “hipster” coffee shop of the week. Listening to overwhelmingly hip music, surrounded by grungy men covered in facial hair sporting hip glasses and beanies. (WHILE WRITING A BLOG. Look how much of a relevant millennial I am!!) I feel abhorrent to everyone that passes my uncool cloud I'm surrounded by. Their conversations, I assume, have to be about which coffee roast fits the weather best, all of the underground concerts they've gone to that I likely have never heard of, and the last time they went hiking. RED ALERT: I have spotted cassette tapes for sale and now I am certain that this place is professionally hip. This is my generation. The “Too Cool For School” type.

Now, lets look past this facade of these composed individuals around me, because people watching is one of my favorite past times. The girls closest to me have a four person table to themselves and are surrounded by what looks like exhausting school work. They do not speak often to one another showing mutual respect for the stress they seem to be consumed by. Further to my right is a guy sitting alone at the community table (lets be honest community tables can be the worst when you are trying to focus). His well tamed beard tells me he takes pride in his appearance, but his beat up Converse tell me that he's been places and has stories to tell. Beard Guy has to be the hippest one here, I bet he owns a record player. Just beyond Beard Guy is an older woman with an afro that I am admiring from afar. Nice Hair Lady has been fiddling with an older laptop and seems to know less about electronics and more about how to rock denim on denim. You go, Nice Hair Lady. Lastly, theres a couple at the bar ordering coffee. Refined, yet exceptionally trendy. I bet you ten bucks Fancy Man ordered an Americano and Fancy Lady ordered a Cappuccino. The couple looks tired but somehow made it out after work to spend time together. All of these people seem 100% unapproachable to me, and I hate that.

In 2016 our mentality when it comes to communicating with people is one of drudgery. We see meeting someone new as a chore or an inconvenience. Living within a culture where individuality is typically met with neigh-sayers and criticism, my generation has felt it best to shelter ourselves from potentially being rejected. Asking a strangers name is taboo, among friendly conversation that goes deeper than the weather. Now, I'm not saying I don't run across the rare Twenty-Something eager to say hello to strangers without fear or hesitation, BUT I do believe when that person comes around we question their authenticity. I'm sure Beard Guy, Nice Hair Lady, and the Fancy Couple around me are absolutely engaging, but would they open up to me if I tried? Would they see a friendly conversation as some sort of ploy to get something from them? There is a line in the movie Coat Of Many Colors, the story of Dolly Parton's childhood (don't judge me), that has stuck with me for awhile now. She says in regards to meeting strangers “...I don't consider them strangers. They're just friends I haven't met yet.” What a mindset.

We've found relationship among people we find relatable on social media and missed a major key to being human, face to face interaction. We are so fearful that people may not like who we really are so we dress it up with filters and fancy words and hope for the best, thinking in real life we wouldn't be enough. My hope in writing this is that you begin to see past the potential let down and in the pursuit of pure connection and become truly enthralled with others. There is nothing more satisfying than meeting someone that isn't in the business of “What can I gain from this relationship?” and more focused on “Who is this person and what does their life look like?”

Communicating shouldn't be awkward or intimidating. So, if you'll excuse me I think I'll take my own advice and make a stranger a friend.

Your always awkward friend,

DeAnna